When we don’t remember our first love and we try to return to our first experience it can only be a second, third, fourth, or some huge number that depletes the reality of the experience. It becomes an experience that is getting old. It is dying. My wife and I have been married for 42 years. She has been married to young Ted, but she has never been married to an old Ted. Being married to an old Ted is a new experience. We can have a first experience She can’t be married to a young man again as long as our life is living. Until death do we part. Divorce is the same as a partner dying, but divorce doesn’t bind it frees. If a man’s wife dies or a woman’s husband dies the living one has to go on in this world. So, they can no longer be two as one. They have to grieve the loss, but they have to be born again. They have to become an individual that is not lacking anything. They have marks, tattoos, and piercings that are testimonies to memories of what was. That makes them richer as an individual, but it does not make them bound to the past. The purpose of divorce is to free individuals to become whole individuals again. When a husband’s wife dies the way of God is, she goes to heaven and she is an individual in heaven. God’s ways is for the husband to become a whole single individual again to live life fully for the glory of God. That individual could get married again and it would be two individuals becoming one flesh. Not the same as the one flesh of the first marriage, but a one flesh of these two individuals for a new glory in life. They could choose not to marry and be a whole individual without the partnership of marriage God always provides a provision for human beings to always be whole, healthy and life-giving.
When we talk about divorce, God does not want divorce. His way is being life givers so the two become one full of life. His plan is that would never fail. So, He says to individuals, look for a partner in the right place. A man who finds a wife finds a good thing so make sure you find a compatible, comparable partner. If you are a believer in Jesus, you are looking for a believer in Jesus. If you find someone who is not a believer in Jesus, and you believe God tells you it is your future husband or wife, something has to happen in the life of the unbeliever first. You should go to God and say,If this is true You have to make them a believer in You before it is a possibility.Why? You are going to be one flesh. When a believer marries an unbeliever, it brings a complication into the marriage that should not have to be there. The two are one flesh and it can work, but if the unbelieving partner refuses to be a life-giver, refuses to be one with you, the apostle Paul said that was a possible reason for a divorce.
1 Corinthians 7:13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?
If the unbeliever is not willing to believe it is a possibility for divorce. Not because they are an unbeliever. Only because they are not a life-giver. If they are a life-giver God can bring salvation and sanctification to the family. We cannot read the Scriptures with legalistic views. Think about the point. The point is a family that gives life. I know believers that are married to what looks like unbelievers, but I also know many of those unbeliever’s act like believers in many ways. They may be going to heaven when they die. I don’t know. Their families are healthy. But I also have found that when a believer marries an unbeliever it almost never works. It almost always produces a lot of dysfunction and death in some way or another. It almost always ends in failure. When something ends in failure, we have to learn. I should not have done that. I did that wrong. I need to listen to you God in the future. But now I need to be healed, I need to become a whole individual. I need to be freed from a spirit of divorce.
If you were in a marriage that failed and it wasn’t your fault, it was your partner’s fault, you have to have the attitude that it was your partner’s fault but for sure you also contributed to it. You am not responsible for them now; you are responsible for you. You must become a whole individual that finds their identity, provision, and destiny in God as your Father. You can then move forward to not fall for the same failures of your past:
Father God deliver me from any spirit of divorce that is in me and free me from any part of this covenant so that I can be healed and become a whole single individual, not so I can get married again but so I can be a healthy individual. If it is Your will that I get married again I have to be a healthy life-giver so that what is made new is eternal until death do, we part. Not the death of a divorce but the physical death of one of us. I need a miracle God so that I can fulfill purpose and destiny.
Ted J. Hanson
Please help me reach the nations.
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Thank You So Much – Ted J. Hanson